This piece I wanted to use different materials as well as colors to explore this complex stage of grief. I was thinking about my Italian heritage and the movie classic depiction as mobsters and decides extra virgin olive oil needed to be a component. I had been thinking for about using different oils to see how they’d interact with the acrylic paint on the canvas for over a year and finally tried it. I also had some shattered selenite and black tourmaline crystals on my jewelery workbench and decided it’d be the perfect addition to the mixture. Lastly as I was getting ready to paint this I was drinking ginger beer and thought… hmmm I wonder what the carbonation would do?! So added that too. When I’ve gone through loss in the past ginger beer is a thing I turn to so my alcohol consumption doesn’t go higher than it should. The interaction of these materials turned out rather interesting and I love the 3D concave spots where the oil and ginger beer interacted and evaporated to leave little craters.
Pictures don’t really do these justice.
Prints available by request ! email maezystardust@icloud.com
This stage of grief I always experience as the case of the shoulda, woulda, couldas, trying to trade time, blame and arguing with the past. This poem I wrote in 2018 and I feel captures this for me.
The Cursed Shoulds
Broken codes
Limiting beliefs
Judgement programming
Socially accepted
As care
But in reality
Feeds the bully
The obsessive thoughts
That we should
Have done differently
Been different
Chosen another way
Argues with reality
Inflicts suffering
Subconscious insults
And threats
Built to maintain
The status quo
You’ve got to let go
Set it free
What others tell you
You should do
Is what they need to do
And what you say
They should do
You need to do
Listen to those lies
Those silly little lies
Arguing with reality
Holding you back
Let them go
The
Past
Is the Past
And cannot change
Only our feelings
About it
Can shift
End the suffering
Remove the code
Should
And Do
Reflect
Learn
Move
On
infinite stardust 